Forewarned is forearmed… I wish I’d taken this test before converting

Speaking with a convert friend recently, we got into talking about ways that we used to feel marginalized and disempowered in the conservative North American Muslim communities that we used to be involved in. And how we still often feel marginalized, even in supposedly “progressive” circles. It was a long conversation, and it was emotionally wearing.

And I know some other converts who’ve had and have similar experiences. But not all do. Some converts not only survive, but seem to positively thrive… and not just in the immediate aftermath of conversion, either. Decades later, they still seem to be quite happy as conservative Muslims living in conservative communities and married to conservative husbands.

Which got me thinking about why conversion works out better for some than others. Part of it—much of it, I’d say—depends on chance: Which community(ies) the convert encounters, what imams/scholars/shaykhs/nutty dawa pamphleteers they learn their Islam from, who they marry (and whether the marriage turns abusive). But some of it seems to depend on the convert’s personality.

As a teenager, I used to like these quizzes that you used to find in magazines, that promised to reveal aspects of your personality to you. What if there’d been one aimed at would-be converts to Islam… rather like this one?

So, you’re considering converting to Islam? Answer the following questions, being as honest with yourself as possible.

(Hint: if you aren’t sure of the answer to some of them, or you’re afraid to be honest, then you need to grow some more before deciding to make such a life-changing decision.)

A. I identify as:

  1. Male. I was identified as male at birth, and I identify as male today, with no doubts about that whatsoever.
  2. Female. I was identified as female at birth, I identify as female today, and I love everything about traditional femininity.
  3. Female. But there are a number of stereotypically “feminine” things that I’m not really into. I just like to be me.
  4. Why does this even matter? I’m a human being. Aren’t all human beings equal in the eyes of God?

[If you answered (1), then you will have a far different experience as a convert then if you answered 2, 3, or 4. Good luck… and fyi, some of the rest of the questions won’t apply to you.]

 

B. Which of the following best describes how you relate to God?

  1. I believe in God, I pray and try to be a good person. It’s cool to watch debates between Christians and Muslims about things like whether the Bible was changed, or if Jesus was really crucified.
  2. I believe in God, I pray, and I try to avoid doing things that He has forbidden, but I don’t think all that deeply about Him.
  3. Mostly, I feel sure that I believe in God, but sometimes I have doubts. How can we really know for sure if God or gods exist? None of answers that Christians or Muslims give to that question sound entirely convincing to me.
  4. I love God. Sometimes I like to go out walking in the woods in the dark, and talk to God. God feels so near to me then. Religious leaders talk a lot about who God is, but I’m not sure that anyone really can grasp that. God is too immense to fit into the boxes they try to put Her/Him/Them into.

 

C. Do you like to read scriptures or religious books?

  1. Yes, I have read the Bible and the Qur’an, and I like to memorize verses from them that can help me win debates about religious issues with people who have other beliefs.
  2. I don’t read all that much, but sometimes I like to read things that are inspirational. Like Chicken Soup for the Soul, but more serious, you know? So a bit of scripture or a religous book that isn’t too hard to read is nice sometimes. It can be a good reminder.
  3. I read that sort of thing a lot, and it makes me ask all sorts of questions that nobody seems to be able to answer. For example, why would God destroy entire communities, even babies and domestic animals, just because some of the adults in the community were worshipping the wrong gods or committing sins? It doesn’t seem right to me.
  4. I love reading the Bible as well as the Qur’an. I have already memorized the Light Verse, and the last verses of Surat al-Hashr—they are just so breath-takingly beautiful. I read every religious book that I can get my hands on, no matter who the author is, because I really want to understand all the different religous ways of seeing the world.

 

D. How important is community to you?

  1. I have a group of friends who share most of my beliefs. Some of them are Muslim already. We have dinner together sometimes, or we go and attend a talk put on by the MSA. That’s cool.
  2. I’m more interested in getting married and having kids. My husband and kids will be enough community for me.
  3. Community is very important to me. I work with homeless youth, and I am also a peer educator in my university’s sex education center. Last year, I volunteered to work on the campaign in my city for a safe injection site.
  4. I’m pretty much a loner, mostly. I have a couple of close friends, though, and they  mean a lot to me. But too much contact with other people makes me really tired for some reason.

 

E. If a religious leader told you that if your husband forbids you to cut your hair, you aren’t allowed to cut it and God will be angry with you if you go ahead and do it, how would you react?

  1. I would agree that this is correct, because there’s a hadith in which the Prophet Muhammad says that a woman who fasts and prays and guards her chastity and obeys her husband will enter paradise. So of course a woman shouldn’t displease her husband.
  2. I wouldn’t really care one way or another. He might be right, but that’s not for me to say, because I haven’t read all the stuff he has. I would think that if he is right, he probably just means that a wife should try to keep harmony in the home, and that sounds like a good idea to me.
  3. WTF!?! This is a joke, right? Why on earth would a deity care how I style my hair? Wouldn’t God have better things to be concerned about, what with all the suffering and evil in the world?
  4. It would really bother me, deep down. It would be like I was being torn in two—being forced to “choose” between being honestly myself, and pleasing God… and all because some man wants to come between me and my creator, and treat me like his own personal sex toy. It wouldn’t make sense. I wouldn’t be able to see how this could be just.

 

F. If you are in an unfamiliar social situation where you don’t know anyone and you aren’t sure what the rules are, what do you do?

  1. I can usually figure out any social situation, and I make friends pretty easily wherever I go. I wouldn’t be feeling awkward for very long.
  2. I might feel a bit shy at first, but I would probably manage to figure it out. I always try to be pleasant to everyone, and go with the flow wherever I am.
  3. I’m not all that hung up on rules. Sure, I don’t try to offend people, but neither do I worry a lot about whether people like me or not. And I usually manage to find someone to talk to, in most situations.
  4. That sounds like a really awkward situation. I tend to avoid situations like that when I can. Or, I watch others carefully to see what they are doing and how they are behaving, and I mirror them.

 

G. If you had friends who were constantly treating you kind of strangely because of your ethnicity or where you were born or who your parents are, or assuming that because of your ethnic origin that you have lesser morals or you used to be promiscuous, how would you feel?

  1. I’d probably laugh along with them, and maybe rib them right back, I guess? I’ve never really encountered that kind of situation before, so I don’t really know. But I don’t think it would likely happen to me.
  2. I’d be, like, whatever. Maybe they have insecurities they need to deal with. I might decide to see less of them. My priority would be my marriage and my kids, anyway.
  3. Anyone who treats me like that is not a friend. Period. I don’t have time for people like that.
  4. I don’t have many friends, and those I have mean a lot to me. If a friend treated me like that, it would really hurt me. That would be really hard to deal with.

 

H. If you asked a religious leader a difficult question, and he gave you a pat answer that you didn’t find convincing, what would you do?

  1. I might ask another religious leader who has more knowledge, I guess. Or I might just put the question to the side for now. Maybe there’s wisdom in his answer that I am not in the position to appreciate at the moment.
  2. I don’t know what you mean by a difficult question. I don’t usually like to ask too many questions. Why make your life complicated if you don’t have to?
  3. I might ask someone else… or I would read up on it. But I don’t take things that religious leaders say all that seriously. They may know a lot more than I do, but they are after all human beings. They aren’t infallible.
  4. It would bother me if any religious leader did that, because by asking them a question, I am putting a certain amount of trust in them, and if they just give me a pat answer then that would feel trivializing. Or, I might start to doubt whether they actually know what they are talking about.

 

I. What kind of art and music do you like?

  1. I’m not really into either one. What good does it really do? Our society spends way too much time on things like that, and it can easily be a source of temptation to sin.
  2. I’ve always liked doing paint-by-number. I’m starting to enjoy listening to nasheeds, like Dawud Wharnsby’s “The Blue Sky is Blue Like Blue Bubble Gum.”
  3. Art that challenges convention. Punk rock music. Riot grrrls.
  4. All kinds of different stuff. Stuff that moves me, makes me think, helps me see the world in a new way. I like to make art. I’m not very good at it, but there’s something wonderful about the process. I love to sing. It’s one of the ways that I talk to God.

 

J. When the end is near, and your life passes before your eyes, what do you hope to see?

  1. That I’ve believed in and done the right things, I guess, because of course I want to end up in heaven, not in hell.
  2. I guess… that I’ve had a good marriage, and kids, and a nice house, that I decorated myself. Freshly made bread on the kitchen counter. My garden blooming. Grandkids.
  3. Hopefully, that I’ve left the world a bit better than I found it. And that I’ve had a lot of fun in the process, and those who knew me had fun too.
  4. That I haven’t sold out. That I haven’t wasted my time. That I’ve used my mind, and learned as much as I could. That I’ve been a decent person, who treated others as I myself would want to be treated, no matter who they were.

 

K. What is your idea of heaven?

  1. The way that heaven is described in the Qur’an.
  2. Being with my family in peace and harmony forever.
  3. I can’t imagine some sort of static heaven, where everyone just relaxes in the shade and drinks non-intoxicating wine… and the women wait around for their husbands to visit them now and again. I think that would be more like hell. There would need to be space for growth and development, or I’d hate it. And heaven would have to be gender-equal, or it wouldn’t be heaven. Which means that I don’t take what the Qur’an says about it literally.
  4. I can’t picture myself in heaven, frankly. The Qur’an doesn’t mention any books in heaven, but any place without books would be hell for me.

 

RESULTS:

If your answers were mostly 1’s and 2’s, then you probably will do fairly well as a convert. If your answers were mostly 1’s, then you might even become the next ISNA president, or the next big shaykh/shaykha, if you play your cards right. If your answers were mostly 2’s, then you’ll probably manage.

But if your answers were mostly 3’s or 4’s, then not so much. If you convert, you will probably have a very difficult time of it. If you are a loner, or can learn to be one, then you might manage to beat the odds and survive as a Muslim. Or maybe not.

 

[NOTE: This is—obviously—satire. I don’t give out religious advice. I wouldn’t presume to tell someone else whether or not they should convert.

But I would say that those doing dawah ought to be more honest about what conversion to Islam will mean for people, especially for those people who evidently won’t fit in easily. But although that’s what I think, I know better than to expect that it will ever come to pass. Those who do dawah are usually invested in the idea that Islam is for everyone, no exceptions, for highly personal reasons. The real-life impact on actual people isn’t really on their radar.]

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  1. #1 by nmr on November 14, 2014 - 2:14 pm

    Oh ho! I liked your quiz. Actually, I liked the different ‘voices’ that came through the answers. In some respects, I can see myself embodying each of those voices at different times in my life, depending on my surroundings and life circumstances.
    #1 you need to take a chill pill and open your mind a little. Go watch a movie featuring gay characters.
    #2 we need to sign you up for a book club. A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
    #3 watch it or you are going to be just as judgmental as those conservatives you loath.
    #4 stop being such a wallflower. Get out there and let your personality shine! You have so much to offer.

    • #2 by xcwn on November 14, 2014 - 10:11 pm

      lol. That’s some thoughtful advice.

  2. #3 by Muslim on November 14, 2014 - 6:04 pm

    You have wasted your precious time on this matter…May Allah award you Jannah.

    • #4 by xcwn on November 14, 2014 - 10:10 pm

      I don’t think that humor is a waste of time. 🙂

  3. #5 by Afrah on November 16, 2014 - 3:30 am

    This quiz was really in tune with something I’ve been thinking about lately, which is: How could artists (including writers) fit into the ummah? After all there’s only so many people who can do Esma ul Husna calligraphy or paint those symmetrical Islamic mandala-looking things. (Have you ever been to an “Islamic art exhibit” in a museum before? Once you’ve seen one, you might as well have seen them all.) Poetry, art that depicts anything other than stationary plants (many of my Muslimah friends use flowers/trees/stars as their Facebook profile pictures instead of actual images of their faces)… I just don’t see room in the most traditional Islamic interpretations for people who are a little bit bent out of the traditional mold.

    Yeah, I know some people are branching out lately, like G. Willow Wilson and so on. But my concern is not really what Muslims are doing in reality. My concern is, is there a gap between what our consciences perceive to be natural and good and what Authentic Islam prescribes for us? And if so (I think there is), what is the nature of that gap, and how do we cope with it?

    • #6 by xcwn on November 17, 2014 - 11:47 pm

      Good question. I guess that depends on whose definition of “authentic Islam” it is.

      The various “authentic Islams” that I encountered had little room for artists or creativity, unfortunately. Partly because hadiths and the views of various jurists (against drawing human forms, and against most kinds of music), partly because of all the anxiety around identity and resisting “western” cultural influences… and converts could be the most caught up in these worries about identity.

      But I suspect that part of the concern also was that it was unclear what sorts of ideas artists or musicians might choose to express, in the name of creativity. What if ideas were expressed that some people might find offensive, or too challenging to the status quo? After all, some traditional Sufi poetry uses images of wine drinking and falling madly in love… not exactly ideas that had a place even as metaphors in most communities I ever had contact with. I suspect it was easier to just discourage art and music and literature.

      It was stifling. I am glad to see that things are getting better in some quarters for creativity.

      • #7 by Katiba on December 3, 2014 - 8:04 pm

        but there are so many amazing artists who are Muslims and don’t just do what we stereotype them into doing, as art. I completely agree with y’all that there are issues with Wahhabi Islam – aka conservative as you use the word here – but honestly, there are a LOT of other Muslims out there doing things differently, traditionally, authentically, and artisitcally, and adventerously. when I hear people gripe about conservatives and treating them as if they are the only version of authentic Muslim that exists, I want to ask: what circles do you run in? There are more people and opinions than 1-4 personality types repped here. and there are also more than one lane in the path of Islam. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1HXXgeKhL8
        I’m a born-muslim, child of a convert, and I am one who says: all it takes to be Muslim is to believe in One God and His Messenger. It’s a spiritual path. you don’t ahve to be part of teh community.I’m not….and when I interact with community – I’m ok with being different from them..I think the issue is being confident of the privacy and primacy of your relationship with God – everything else is commentary. it can be postiive, it can be negative, but it doesn’t ahve to be the defining factor in being Muslim. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1HXXgeKhL8

  4. #8 by Reclaiming myself on November 16, 2014 - 5:15 am

    Excellent post! I definitely was a mostly 3’s and 4’s kind of person. I discovered your blog about six months ago and have often wanted to comment but haven’t until now.
    Thank you for your insightful writing. It has helped me tremendously in sorting out the mess I am in. I hope to start my own blog sometime soon.

    When I first began studying Islam, I was told by so many people that a Muslim is simply anyone who believes there is only one god and that Muhammad is a Prophet. This is misleading for so may reasons. Initially it gives the impression that being a Muslim is not hard at all, all you need is that belief. Since I had read many positive things about prophet Muhammad, including the rights given to women that were unprecedented for that time, I felt I could honestly say I was a Muslim. To me this was a private matter of seeking a closer relationship with my creator and it started out like that, but eventually became something else. There are so many expectations, do’s and dont’s, and the continuous pressure to prove that you are a good Muslim. How many of us would have converted if we had been told up front the possible outcomes such as: losing or damaging your relationships with family and friends, serious obstacles when seeking employment, loss of self expression, discrimination from the larger western society on one hand and discrimination from other Muslims on the other hand, isolation, loss of interests and hobbies, a feeling of never being good enough, and in many cases, a permanent move to another state or even a foreign country!

    There is no informed consent, no one to tell you what to expect. No one to tell you how one decision will alter your life forever and will affect your family and your children in the future. So many times over the years I have wondered what I have gotten myself into. So many times I have bitterly said to myself that I never signed up for this. But there is a cognitive dissonance when you have been largely cut off from other points of view. I would look around and see other women who seemed to be happy and doing well. I would think that something must be wrong with me, I better try harder. Early on I would try to talk to other Muslims about things that didn’t seem right to me about the religion or interpretation of it, and also problems in my marriage. Overwhelmingly, I was made to feel that there was something wrong with me, I still had the mentality of jahaliya, my husband would surely be more lenient after I had proved I was trustworthy. I want to kick myself for allowing myself to be in this situation.

    The truth is I survived for many years because of my own stubbornness to see it through. I figured that I had already lost so much, come this far. How could I turn back now? The truth is I could have been one of those who thrived if my husband were not so controlling and insistent on keeping me isolated from other people. If I had been allowed to develop more than superficial friendships with other sisters, I would have continued to strengthen my faith rather than questioning it, but now I’m afraid it is too late. Once you open your eyes to the possibility that you’ve been duped, it is nearly impossible to trust, to close your eyes again.

    It kills me to think of how much I have lost, how truly narrow my life has been as I have missed people I loved, music, art, movies, cultural activities, holidays, hobbies and interests, traveling, education, employment. It makes me so sick to think about it. I am in the process of trying to reclaim some of that for myself even as I remain in this situation. I know that there are many out there who will say I am following my desires but I honestly no longer believe that a god would want someone to abandon their interests and talents for a bleak life that offers nothing but a vague promise of eventual paradise which is described as a beautiful place, but one in which I will once again have no aspirations because everything will be done for me. Sounds a little bit like hell for someone like me.

    • #9 by xcwn on November 18, 2014 - 12:02 am

      Wow. So much of what you have said is familiar.

      I hope that things get better for you soon.

      Yes, I’ve witnessed that approach to dawah, with the encouraging, “Oh, so you believe in one God and that Muhammad is a prophet? Well then, you’re already a Muslim!” It is misleading, for the reasons that you said. I am not sure why some born Muslims do this. Part of it seems to be about their own sense of self—that if they can convince outsiders (especially westerners) to take the next step and recite the shahada, then they feel better about themselves. Some are men who want to get married, or convert the wives they already have. Some honestly believe that people who “know the truth” but don’t convert are going to hell, so they see it as their job to save them.
      But they aren’t usually thinking long term, about what the impact of conversion is likely to have for the convert. Or even for Muslim communities, born Muslim spouses of the converts, the children of the converts… it’s odd.

    • #10 by freethinker on January 14, 2015 - 12:36 pm

      you sound depressed and very dissatisfied. Why don’t you leave and reclaim your life ? I’m shocked that this is a feminist blog – the responses sound so timid, so conventional, so conservative. You don’t have to live like this – but I have to say how could you be so naïve ?

  5. #11 by demonlily13 on November 16, 2014 - 12:02 pm

    Humour often tells the truth faster than a lecture and it IS funny. But the note at the end is so true… religion can be so rigid and many people sadly get broken by it. This is no waste of time… this is a very big deal for a lot of isolated people who are wondering where God has gone or at least their ‘ummah’. Thank you for your honesty.

    • #12 by xcwn on November 18, 2014 - 12:08 am

      Thank you for your comment.
      Yes, some approaches to religion can and do break people. And picking up the pieces is often hard.

  6. #13 by Anonymous// on November 16, 2014 - 4:36 pm

    Are you a 3 or more of a 4? Do you think the answers you’d give now are at all like those you would have given twenty-odd years ago?

    I wanted to ask…I’m hoping to get married soon and would like your advice. What would you say beyond ‘listen to her’ and ‘treat her as you’d like to be treated’? She wants an egalitarian marriage- which I’m fine with- but also expects me to fulfil my patriarchal responsibility of providing. I like her so it’s not like I mind, and I was careful to explain that I don’t make much…and that I don’t expect her to stay at home or help with meals or clean or anything (she’s an activist)…is this the right thing to do? I care about her but don’t like the feeling that I’m being taken advantage of. Surely believers in egalitarian marriage should renounce the boons of patriarchy as well as its burdens? Or am I just being silly? I’ve discussed practical arrangements with her but am reluctant to talk about these things because it would seem really boorish. I care very deeply about her and I want to make her happy…What should I do?

    I get that this isn’t exactly the best forum for dispensing marital advice, but I’d really, really appreciate your two cents. I know how busy you must be, so I’ll understand if you’d rather not say anything.

    • #14 by xcwn on November 18, 2014 - 12:21 am

      I’m more a 3 or 4, but I’ve tried at different times to be 1 or 2. It didn’t work.

      About your question: If you read this blog, then you have probably realized that I am not a good source of marriage advice, except that avoiding doing as I did marriage-wise is probably a good idea.

      All that I would suggest is that you both read Kecia Ali’s book, Sexual Ethics in Islam, if you haven’t already, and have some serious discussions about the many ethical issues that the book raises. Ali points out that interpretations which pick and choose among the patriarchal rules that women or men want to practice today while rejecting others are not logical, and they often misrepresent pre-modern Muslim legal thinking. However, she doesn’t tell readers what they should think or do, she opens out these questions for people to think about. Which is a refreshing change, in my view.

      As for seeming boorish—it is probably better to talk about and agree on issues like this before marriage. So many marriages the world over fall apart over finances.

    • #15 by ki sarita on November 24, 2014 - 1:51 pm

      I think if you feel this is unfair, talk to her about it and tell her you’d like to come to a compromise that works for both of you.

      • #16 by ki sarita on November 24, 2014 - 1:54 pm

        addendum, this will be great practice in communication for your marriage. its important to always keep the lines of communication open,and be able to bring up whatever issues are important to you without embarrassment.

  7. #17 by Abu Abdillah on November 17, 2014 - 1:08 am

    I agree that these are questions that should thought about before any type of conversion. Specifically in the Islamic conversion, an important factor you missed is the utility the convert has to offer “the movement.” Anything from speaking skills, to some sort of celebrity–no matter how minor or having one of the two exalted positions amongst immigrants from third world countries: a doctor or an engineer can earn the convert a badge of acceptance. However, it is a blatantly hollow position for a person to be, especially a presumably idealistic convert expecting his or her life to improve to a tangible degree.

    • #18 by xcwn on November 18, 2014 - 12:25 am

      Yes, good point.
      And unfortunately, such “utility” is often tied to the race and social class of the convert—one of the reasons it’s a hollow position, as you say.

  8. #19 by dettol on November 17, 2014 - 9:33 pm

    (Hint: if you aren’t sure of the answer to some of them, or you’re afraid to be honest, then you need to grow some more before deciding to make such a life-changing decision.)

    You have become more condescending than you were in your first blog.

    Dawah ought to be more honest, and maybe you ought to be more honest about what made you find the dawah you encountered convincing when you had plenty of alternatives, secular and religious. You have so much to say about the moral and intellectual inadequacy of conservative Islam, and so much to imply about your own superiority, but so little to say about how someone as superior as yourself ever got involved in something you are at pains and multiple blogs to describe as contemptible. I don’t think the answer is that the dawah lied to you. Dawah says the same things to lots of people, and few go the route you went.

    • #20 by xcwn on November 18, 2014 - 1:17 am

      Errr, no, I have never said that conservative Islam is “contemptible.” Nor in the end do I judge those individuals who want to be conservative Muslims and find that kind of approach to religion fulfilling, for their choices.

      What I am critical of is people I have known who did not stop at making their own personal religious choices, but tried to manipulate others into making such choices, and were less than honest about some of the ideas they were trying to convince those who looked up to them to accept, regardless of how this might negatively affect their audience. I am particularly critical of myself when I did this—and yes, I did this, and it was wrong.

      The idea that one person’s attempt to be honest about their own experiences is somehow equivalent to an attack on someone else’s belief system is one that I often encountered back in the ’80’s in the conservative communities I had dealings with. It tended to inhibit open discussion of a number of topics, which was unfortunate for some of us, because not talking about these things didn’t make them go away.

  9. #21 by dettol on November 19, 2014 - 2:17 am

    Except you aren’t being honest. Your contempt for conservative Islam has been repeated over and over — this very post reeks of contempt. And you of course you judge, you judge over the place. Which is fine and also quite human, if you had the guts to be honest about it.

    You want to endlessly repeat this morality tale where you are this morally acute, intellectually sensitive soul who loves art and virtue, and conservative Muslims are “paint-by-numbers”-loving [sic] moral dullards at best and the wickedest of misogynist villains more probably. OK. But then how did a paragon of snowy virtue such as yourself ever get mixed up in such wrong-ass wrongness? It was not because dawa tricked you or you didn’t have a pop quiz to explain your superiority.

    LOL @ your last paragraph. What doesn’t remind you of something in the 80s, in which you were a pious victim and whoever was stomping on you with army boots?

    • #22 by xcwn on November 20, 2014 - 4:08 am

      You could read it that way, I suppose. Though you’re reading a lot into something that is clearly labeled as satire.

      The paint-by-number reference alludes to something that actually happened in a community that I used to belong to. It also caricatures ideals that I was taught. The whole quiz does, on one level.

      But it can be read in different ways. I wouldn’t call someone who doesn’t like to ask too many questions or who likes paint-by-number a “moral dullard.” I’d say that a female convert who had goals that were regarded as conventional in the conservative communities I am talking about (which are not all conservative Muslim communities everywhere…), aka getting married and centering their life around that was more likely to end up being reasonably content. There’s a lot to be said to having reasonably attainable goals, and for being in tune with the majority views of a community one is trying to join. And those who didn’t take things so seriously did not seem to end up being haunted by things that happened to them the way that some of the angst-ridden and idealistic female converts did.

  10. #23 by Muslim on December 3, 2014 - 5:27 pm

    If you would have got a “non abusive husband”, the topic of this article would have been totally different….

  11. #24 by rosalindawijks on January 25, 2015 - 11:41 am

    This also is an interesting post, maybe a bit offtopic, but I couldn’t find a topic with the same subject:

    http://feminismandreligion.com/2015/01/25/the-power-to-interpret-for-myself-by-jameelah-x-medina/

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